Nuts.

Sometimes we are all a little nuts.  I’m kind of nuts at least one a month,  usually more.   I’m a sad kind of nuts, I don’t do much during the nutty times other than feel sad.  

I’m someone that wears my heart… and my nuts on my sleeve, and I think sometimes people don’t like that.   You have a moment and voice it and then sit back and feel people are looking at you side eyeing, then you feel like you should apologise.   I say you,  I mean me.

I’m not sorry for who I am though.   I may be slightly nutty,  I may have emotions that take over more than they should,  but what you see is what you get with me,  no airs,  no graces,  no hidden agenda or sudden change of persona… just me.

I sometimes feel like peeking out and making friends,  then I’m sometimes reminded why it’s better to just keep your head up,  but your ass firmly behind that rock.  I have some amazinnnggg friends that will listen to me all day every day,  whether I’m being silly or serious,  then I have some that I thought were friends,  but I’m starting to think maybe we aren’t as friendly as I thought,  that makes me sad and kinda disappointed but it is what it is and I’m ok with that,  I’m not always the friend that reaches out,  but I am the friend that will always be there.

The thing about feelings and nuts.. is everyone has them,  everyone deals with their nuts differently.   Some people put a mask on,  some people pretend they’re completely chirpy and LIFE IS SO GOOD DON’T WASTE IT.   Yeah it is,  but don’t act like you don’t have bad days just because you aren’t as vocal about them.

I’m actually quite an upbeat person when it comes to other ppls problems,  it’s my own advice I can’t swallow often.   So I may whinge,  I may be down,  I may voice it.. but I’m aware it’s just emotions.  My life is actually very blessed,  but I won’t lie that I have a bad day,  and I may want to whine about it,  it doesn’t make me any more nutty than everyone else,  I need to remember that.

I’m just #awkward.  My socks say so.

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