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Oh my heart…

Today saw me go to Animals in  Need for my 2nd volunteering morning!  I didn’t know where I would be but it turns out I was cleaning and feeding the rqbbits and rodents.  An easy feat, I thought,  owning 5 myself!   Well…  my back tells a different story.

I didn’t capture all of the animals,  just a mere handful, as I lugged around cages cleaning them and making sure the furry lil ones were all ok.   I can’t say I didn’t fall in love,  I did. Several times over.

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Some were indoors, some out… all really depended on innoculations and the like.  All of them were super friendly,  one took a liking to my leg,  others followed the brush with every sweep.  

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That cat there kept nudging my head and wanting a fuss every two mins,  she’s a resident and SO cute!  Although I was warned she would quite happily swipe my face off,  she just seemed to want some fuss.  So cute.

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I also cleaned out a couple of Rats.  Was a bit nervy, they were lovely tho, very timid and really just wanted to hide!   Cat say I blamed them.

Then there was this chap:

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His named is Jake, a 10yr old tri colour Collie with one blue eye,  one brown.  Ugh it was love at first sight.   My old dog was called Jake,  also a tri colured Collie, I call it fate he would have to come home with keep,  sadly Simon thinks we have too many pets and my pleas fell on deaf ears.   I’m sure Jake will find his forever home, his owner had to go into a home so he is probably a little lost.  Everytime I walked by he ran for his toy and dropped it for me, such a cutie.

The shelter owner added me on FB and thanked me. Which I thought was lovely, and now I’m in Kennels next week.  My heart isn’t sure it can take it,  but we will give it a go.

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Peak of the WEEK!

Hello, ratfans.

Today is Wednesday, the middle of the working persons week, the day most ppl call hump day!  It’s my Friday tho, woot woot!  Although the rest of the week for me consists of doing other things, just not work related, so I still see it as the peak of my working week too.

Yesterday and today we are having a new boiler fitted at home, probably a bit frivolous, but it’s been condemned since we moved in and every year when it hits minus temp, it usually breaks, leaving us freezing and without hot water.  This year, oddly, it didn’t!  But as Simon has his redundancy money we decided it was probably one of the few things that *needs* doing… alas that means that last night we had no heating or hot water, so we went to McDs for tea (YAYYY DIET) and then all headed to bed as soon as we got in to hide under blankets!   I am not looking forward to cleaning the mess they’ve left in their wake, I can tell you!  

Tomorrow is another Animals in Need Day! I felt really rough last week when I went, so hopefully this week will be a lot better.  It’s freeeezing, so I had to buy a couple of new jumpers to wear, and I get to wear my new super fashionable wellies too, get me!   I am a bit worried i’ll be on my own in the Wildlife bit, as Ian isn’t there (the ‘Wildlife Guy’) and I’ll end up giving the Hedgehogs Gravy and killing them or something! I DON’T WANT TO KILL THEM!!!   Maybe I won’t even be in the Wildlife bit, oh well, i’ll see tomorrow!

Friday Simon has another interview, so he will have the car, this means I dunno what i’ll be doing, probably housework, or ringing up my mum and seeing if she wants to go for a wander around town or something.  FUN TIMES.

I also have to fit the gym in again, sickness was out in brute force last week in our house, so I only managed the gym once… and I didn’t go on Monday because of one thing or another, so I guess I really should go today. SIGH.  I actually like it once i’m there, but the overwhelming urge to curl up on the sofa with my Kindle or watch some trash on TV sometimes is more welcoming, although Wednesdays are crap for TV, so probably the best day to go and get it done.

Well, that’s my waffle for now!  BAI!

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Flappy McFlap

That is what I should be called.  I am one of those irritating people that worry, about everything.  Infact if I have nothing to worry about, I worry about not having something to worry about and I create a worry.  It’s no way to live, I know!  But I don’t take everything really seriously, I know i’m an emotional failure sometimes… but don’t take anything I say quite as seriously as perhaps you may,  I like a good joke and a rant, but I’m always “OK”.

I decided a month or so back, to take a step back from SL.  Because I just found I was anxious about everything, the drama, the people, the hate that you sometimes see flying around plurk/forums/wherever… of course I’m not one of these people that are like OMG SL IS CRAPPPP, it’s not, it’s bought me a lot of joy and I don’t think it’s a bad place, I think it’s what you make of it.. sadly I was letting things drag me down, which is my own fault… nobody elses, but I decided it was time to change it up a bit.

My day BEFORE I decided to step back kind of consisted of getting up early to grab half an hour on SL to get a picture for a blog done/prep a blog for release during the day, sort the kids out, get them to school, work 9-5ish, come home, do dinner, do mum related things, do house related things, try and grab time before bed to finish a blog/prep for tomorrows blog/shop on SL, then bed.

Doesn’t sound much fun does it? But to me it was semi normal.  Simon and I aren’t a couple that sit and watch TV together at night, or things like that, I mean we do… but we can be doing other things too… mine was above, his was studying… but it just didn’t feel much like fun to me.

Now my day looks a bit more like have a lay in (WOOO!), sort the kids out, school, work, home, dinner, mum stuff/house stuff, RELAX… bed.    In my relax time I read a bit more, watch tv a bit more, go to the gym, see my friends, cook/experiment with cooking, I’ve started volunteering at an Animal Shelter and sometimes… it involves SL!   It doesn’t sound like much of a difference, but it is.

But this comes at a price.   A few people have said to me “You’re the most dedicated blogger I know” and I often thought awww, that’s sweet! I have been blogging since 2006, back from the day of 1 or 2 bloggers peppered about, not the day of 10-20 new bloggers a day sprouting up while 100-200 (hahaha add another nought?) already have established and well loved blogs… it’s NOT as easy now a days, imo, to be recognised as a blogger, unless you have a really unique look, great pictures, an already established following, or in the most severe of cases (and yeah I could name a couple) you jam yourself up every available arse until you get 4000000 flickr views a day and blog for everyone on the grid… ain’t nobody got time for that.

What is this price?  Well my stats are dropping and I have whinged to anybody and everybody that will listen about this (thankkks guisseeee)… I’ve gone from the odd 150 a day to around 60-100 a day, depending on if (and oddly enough, when) I blog.  Of course the logical person in me says to myself … you, at one point, blogged daily, if not 2 or sometimes 3 times a day, and sometimes you crammed about 8 items into a post.. and now you blog when you feel like it, which at the minute seems to be averaging about every other day… and you’re on feeds, so your stats aren’t totally “true” anyway… and AND the most important bit… you’re having FUN with what you blog, it doesn’t feel like a chore, you don’t feel anxious or stressed, you’re taking time to do prettier picutres instead of bog standard ones, leaving your comfort zone and also, you’re a little bit excited about thinking of having a home in SL again and doing other things that don’t include blogging… how is this a bad thing?

It’s a stupid worry, right? If i’m feeling better in myself, apart from the tiny bit of anxiety about stats/views dropping, and I’m getting things done in RL I’ve wanted to do AND it’s making me want to log in SL a bit more and do what I’ve wanted (have fun, not be a machine)… what is there to worry about?

Of course I have the people that are like if you reach out to one person and make a difference, that is great, if you reach out to 50 that is great… if you are doing what you want to do and feeling better for it, THAT is great… and I agree with them, then I see people that are like “well if my stats were dropping i’d do more about it” and I think should I go back to doing it again? NO, of course I shouldn’t, it wasn’t making me happy.. but this is what I do to myself.  I try and put myself first but never quite manage it, I’m more concerned about an SL blog than I am my own happiness, although I would be happier if I had 48 hrs in a day and could do everything I wanted to DO and retain my blog to the standard I used to, but.. I don’t.

I go through a huge stage of things like this.  This is just my example at the moment, because it’s happening, but it’s not always SL related, and mostly it’s always something stupid, that nobody with a sane brain would worry about.

I’m a bit tired of being an emotional spaz. Truely.

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Ghost Hunting – OooooohhhhoooohhhoOOOHhhh

So! I went Ghost Hunting, or went on Ghost Vigils, or whatever you want to call it.  My friend and I took it upon ourselves to go on a Fright Nights tour to the Galleries of Justice in Nottingham.   We went into this day excited, nervous and fully aware that nothing was probably going to happen, but we wanted the experience anyway.  The minute we got there, had the initial talk about always having our torches on, being aware we may be touched and blah blah blah… we were practically in the pitch black, apart from some Fire Exit signs and motion sensors (which by the way, went off totally on their own various times when nobody was prancing about in front of them).

I took a whole plethora of picture which can be found on my SL Flickr Stream (because I forgot the login for my rl one :P!) and I will throw a few in here and there.  The first thing we were told were about 3 ghosts in the Lobby area, that of an old man in top hat attire, that drew customers in from the street to have photos taken with him, only to be told that nobody there was dressed like that…. and a lady that appears on the stairs

Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice

Apparently someone once took a fantastic photo of her, crystal clear… and they sold it to Most Haunted for £20,000… I have yet to find that photo. The third was a doorway to the cafe, which looks really innocent, but apparently many ppl have had the sensation of being tripped or pushed there and one non-believer stood there on her own during a previous tour, to see what happened and heard the most vicious growl in her ear and was that freaked out she had to go home! I had to stand there of course, nothing happened 😦

We then went on a tour of the building, through all the rooms, the courtroom, the cells, the caves, the washroom, the courtyard… you name it, we went in there, everywhere that was accessible, we accessed and then imagine our delight when we were told we had 30 mins to explore ourselves!! Oh gosh where to go first. Sadly our tour was very crowded, so you were never truly alone, and of course with any of these things you get a bunch of prats that want to arse about going OoooOOOooohhhh and stuff, so yeah that was blah.

Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - The Washroom

The first place we revisited was the washroom, this is where the prisoners were bought, dunked in a bath, had their head shaved and were deloused… then treated. It’s said that a ghost of a little girl wanders around here, randomly clutching peoples hands as if she wanted to go with them… I was hoping for that one, but alas, it never happened. The bath was pretty hideous as were the tools they seemed to use to “medicate” them…

Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - The Bath
Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - Stuff

By this time we were all freezing and it was just dark and we were so confused about where to go and what to do! We visited the womens prison cell again after that, and apparently this is where up to 30 women at a time were placed, before they were sent to death, to all try and cram onto this bed:

Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - Womens Jail

It was a pretty dank room to be honest, and many a ghost has been seen in here. We did experience while we were there… nothing. You got it! But the group that stumbled in after us were adamant the bed moved slightly for them, lucky gits! None of this so far was making me feel uneasy at all… not even when we entered the Caves.. Now the Caves are where people were left to die when they didn’t/couldn’t be bothered to kill them. It’s pretty much what you see in this picture, a small, dark, stoney cave:

Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - Cave Entrance

Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - The Cave


I’m assuming the skulls weren’t real 😛 Again there was no sense of unease here, I did feel a bit sad, I don’t know why… we were told at certain points our emotions may suddenly change without warning, and this was the energy from the spirits. I just didn’t really like it in there, it wasn’t a bad feeling place, just one that left me feeling blah… apparently a lot of dark stuff went on there, boo! Also before you got to the cave was the Chapel, and a Oubliette. This is it:

Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - The Oubliette

Now I got my feet in there so you could see just the small grate… What is below that grate? A bottle shaped pit room, where people were slid into, and left to die, no water, no food, once they were down that grate that was their fate. Sadly we couldn’t go down there, only the archaeologists have accces to that area, and tbh I didn’t want to go down there anyway.

Anyway, by this time it was almost time to go back and we didn’t visit half the places we wanted to! We managed to get a quick picture of the inside and outside of the Hanging Cell:

Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - The Hanging Door
Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - Inside the Hanging Cell

The activity in here is apparently rife, that door is to the left of the bed in the picture, and there used to be a beam attached, instead of hanging on the public gallows, they used to attach a noose to the beam, the person and shove out the door. All very sad really, especially considering a lot of crimes punishable by death in those days, were things like stealing a loaf of bread!

We then all regrouped, had a cup of tea and some losers said they’d felt stuff happen (there was an entire group of ppl that “stuff” happened to all night, I didn’t buy it, tbh) and then we left for Vigils! WEE VIGILS! NOW IT WAS GETTING INTERESTING! They walked us through various locations, there were 3 mediums and 4 spots in total. This is where it got a bit more interesting for me.

The first area we visited was the Courtroom, all original dating back YEAAAAAAAAAAARS and home to many a mean and unforgiving judge:

Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - Courtroom Balcony
Ghost Hunt at Galleries of Justice - Judges Chair

This all had to be done in absolute darkness, once we were in and seated, no pictures were allowed and we were to turn torches off. In this room all the mediums told us what they saw, there were bangs and knocks galore and honestly, this is the ONLY room in the entire place (and there were some pretty grim effin rooms) that I felt overwhelmingly uneasy. I didn’t like it one bit. At one point the bench next to me sort of sank down a bit, I just thought it was my fat ass, but the medium sort of looked over, shone a torch next to me and said “someone just walked in front of you guys and sat down”. I may have nearly sharted. I just didn’t like that room, that feeling you have where you have to get out of somewhere, you can’t explain why… you just don’t feel good there. That was the room for me, I hated it. I felt like I was being watched constantly, I felt like things were moving around and I was looking over my shoulder all the time and IT WAS JUST VERY ALARMING. I thought to myself “Great, that’s it, teh rest of the tour i’m going to be wanting to cry”… but I didn’t. I didn’t feel like that in any other room. Even when we left at the end of the night and we had to exit through there, my mood changed from jovial to anxious and uneasy as soon as we stepped into it, and i’d hotfooted it out of there. It was so unreal!

We also got to sit in the Debtors Area and Cell, I volunteered myself and my friend to go and sit in there in the dark and wait for “Ned” to touch us. We were told Ned liked blondes, and then everyone outside had a bit of a giggle while Kim, a Blonde, apparently had her shoulder and bum touched. He also state Ned liked her boobs, that was kind of awks. He then asked us our names, so Marie said hers and I said “Heather” and something MORTIFYING happened. He said “Heather… he’s interested in you”. At this point I clutched my torch and audibly whimpered “Oh good lord”… and the medium stated Ned was looking at me with a kind of an amused grin and grunted “Do you like to be Tied Up?” I’m glad I was in the dark cos I went as red as beetroot. The Medium then said “I’m not asking you a question, because it’s very personal.. but all I am getting from Ned, for you.. is Bondage and he wants to know if you want to be tied up” I was like “Oh UMMMMM… well what the heck, i’ll be honest… who doesn’t like a bit of that”.. it was REALLY strange because just the night before I’d downloaded a new (and very kinky) book to my Kindle. So yeah, it wasn’t much but it was definitely spooky. Ned didn’t want to touch me, however, because I was a raven haired fake dye job. But I’m glad he told the world about my kink, good job I am never seeing any of those ppl except one again!

The third and fourth vigils were a bit boring to be honest, nothing really happened, although the little meter to detect activity kept going off, and at one point I had the most hideous burning sensation on my left calf, it was all quite quiet. We then went for our final vigil in The Caves and I felt sad again… hearing about children with bashed in faces and women with no legs and ugh it was just sad in there.

All in all it was a great night. I left believing just as much as I did before, Marie, however, left a bit more sceptical and didn’t believe as much, she thought it was all more the power of suggestion, despite her Thumb and hand going numb at one point when she was shoved in the haunted lift. I want to go back, I WILL go back, I will go back there to see if I experience the same feelings as last time, and to see if another spirit wants to embarass the bejebus out of me. It was the best night that cost just £29 and maybe next time.. I’ll stay overnight!

Am I disappointed I was just embarrassed and not thrown across the room? Partly… but the way my mood changed in certain places, the way someone knew something about me which YES, could have been coinkydink, but I doubt it… left me no doubt that something beyond what we see goes on around us alllll the time.

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Animals in Need – Volunteering!

So today was the “big” day for me, my first day as a volunteer at Animals in Need.   It’s a small farm type place with soooo many animals! I didn’t know what i’d be doing, but next to my name was “Wildlife Sanctuary”… and that is what I did today!

What did my duties consist of? Well.. for one I was glad it was mostly indoor stuff, because it’s effin’ freezing out there.  I fed a hedgehog, I bathed two tortoises, I fed a bunch of African Land Snails…. I avoided the caged Squirrel because apparently he’s a bit nippy, someone had hand reared him from a baby and kept him caged, but then had to hand him over and he’s gone a bit insane, apparently.  I freed a pigeon… and cleaned out/fed/watered a bunch of birds.

There are injured birds inside, and tons of birds outside, the pigeon pen is open hatch, so they can come and go as they see fit.   We put one of the previously injured pigeons out there and it flew straight off into the trees.  So that was nice.  There are 28 hedgehogs there currently, all waiting for warmer weather to see if they can be released back into the wild.  There are a couple of cat mauled birds and ones that have smacked into cars that they don’t think will make it, but they are trying to make it as comfy as possible for them, so that’s kinda sad.

I had to deal with live mealworms and frozen baby chicks! ICK!  I did turn my nose up a bit at those, but the Owl and Kestrel eat the Chicks, so we had to defrost them and trudge out and feed them, I never realised before today just how big Owls eyes are!

All in all it was a good first day, I will be going back regularly and I think you get rota’d in, so I will not become “The Wildlife Whisperer”, hopefully I will be placed in various sections.

The one thing I don’t like about the Wildlife bit, is you’re not supposed to talk to them, because they are to remain cautious of humans, which makes sense for when they are released, but when you’re handling a cute baby hedgehog, you kinda want to baby talk to it!   Also there are two resident parrots in the Wildlife bit, and they speak, so I had a mini conversation with one of them as I fed him a Green Bean and tried not to get my face pecked off changing his water.

It was bloody cold, very muddy and what not, but you could see that these animals were well treated, loved and being nursed back to health and it just made you stop and think for a second about what really matters in life, sooo glad I did this!

I didn’t get any pictures today, seemed rude to keep whipping my phone out, but I shall have to try and get some pictures of the pigs there, or maybe a video, cos they are NOISY buggers!  Oh and there is “Upside Down” Pigeon, who has a disease so his head is always pointing the wrong way.  I felt kinda sad for him, and his name lol.

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Monday Light…

Someone said today that Tuesdays are like Monday Light, and it’s true.  I have said it before and I will say it again right now, I hate Tuesdays.

Tuesdays are my longest work day, although it’s not a gym day, but it’s just a LONG day, and I have duties at work I don’t really relish or enjoy all that much on a Tuesday.  But alas, it has to happen, every week on a Tuesday I wake up and SIGH heavily, Simon mocks me for having a job and I tell him to go and find one, the kids moan, the cats act like they haven’t eaten in a week and then I go to work and want to nap.  EVERY.WEEK.

Well, thats my life tbh, it doesn’t change, but then sometimes change is bad so THATS OK TOO.   

Tomorrow its my half day, then Thursday is my first day volunteering!!!   I’m sooo nervous! What if the animals hate me?  What if I hate them (I totes won’t).  I bet i’ll just be cleaning up poop, but hopefully I’ll get some exercise in by dogwalking!   EEEEP!! I hope I don’t get lost *flapflap*.  I am hoping I can take my phone and take pics of all the little ones and tell you guys about them and bore you to death with AWWWW’s and OOOH LOOOOK’s.

Well thats me for Tuesday I think, just trying to keep this blog fairly up to date, although really this is all very boring I should stick to blogging when I actually have something to say. Hmm. NEVER THEN.

BYE.

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Monday Monday…

.. I don’t actually mind Monday.  Sure I have to get up, sort the kids, go to work, and it’s a gym day too, but Mondays aren’t once the dreaded day they were for me, I don’t know why, I think it’s because on a Tuesday I do more things that I hate, and it’s a longer work day for me, so Monday seemed to swap to Tuesday.  Oh the webs we weave.

Weekend was slow for me, drank too much on Friday, woke up slightly hungover, but not really, you know that kind of state you get into when you know you SHOULD feel sick, and you SHOULD have a headache, but you just sort of hang around in Hangover Limbo not knowing when it’s going to hit.  Of course I had a kids party to attend on Saturday at a soft play place, so that meant even more dread loomed.  I managed to get through the day without being sick or having a headache, I was just tired.  I can’t drink anymore, it’s sad… I just can’t handle it!

That’s pretty much it, Sunday the kids cleaned out the car for me, did a great job, while we sorted out the kitchen so I had more room to bake, cos you know, my other blog is looking decidedly empty and I am itchinggggg to try and improve into cake maker EXTRAORDINAIRE! Then we went to Buddies for dinner, DIET BE DAMNED! I dunno why I ever think that’s a good idea cos the service is always slow and then I feel like i’ve eaten a horse. TUT.

I did get my Valentines Gifts, well two of them over the weekend, 2 new Thomas Sabo Charms! YAY! and I did a lot of thinking about my online presence but didn’t really come to a conclusion other than… well nothing really.  Plod on or make some changes… i’m leaning toward changes but what I do online i’ve done for yearsss, its a scary change to make!  Although maybe it would make me feel better, who knows.   All I know is that i’m tired of feeling like crap, I am tired of feeling like other peoples feelings matter more than my own and I’m tired of tiptoeing around on eggshells cos of all the stupid politics!

I’m a totally different person on SL than I am in RL, I think i’m even less likely to tell you to stfu online than I am in RL, which is odd, most people are the other way around… I just want to live in a bubble and not get involved in anything other than blog and do my thing.. but to blog you need to be kinda social, or do you? I dunno.  I’m just tired of it, literally not just metaphorically tired.

Ok well that’s my Monday morning rant.  Hope yours is a good one! 😛